http://www.overheardatthebeach.com/archives/001456.html

15-year-old to mother and sister: Two for the pink, one for the stink.
Mother, laughing: Who taught you that?
15-year-old: Dad.

--Boat in Kaneohe Bay, Hawaii

Overheard by: Pro Forced Sterilization

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021123.html

Teenage boy, explaining why he joined the Air Force: We've been around since World War II. We fought against the Germans and sank several submarines. We also killed a whale, but that's not the point.

--Bard High School, Queens

Overheard by: Sunny

20-something dude to friend: Ma-fucking-rines! The Marines! Man, I'ma join up, be a Marine, and go all over the world, fuck, and have babies. I'ma get laid and have a baby in every country: Spain, France... even Pakistan!

--50th & 8th

Overheard by: camillia*

Little boy in army fatigues hiding behind fallen tree: Pow! Pow! Look, mommy! It's the Battle of the Bulge!

--St. Mark's

Lady with Russian accent to salesperson in outerwear section: I don't like the style, it's not feminine. It's like for soldiers, or Chinese people.

--Lord & Taylor, 39th St

Overheard by: mira

Off-duty MTA worker to another: Britain? Whatever man, we beat they ass with... muskets and shit!

--6 Train

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021122.html

30-something blonde in office attire on cell: You need to tell Vanessa that she can't be on the show because she's not overweight enough, and s not unattractive enough.

--Whole Foods Market, Chelsea

Syracuse University girl, going up escalator: I feel like I'm in Star Trek! (begins humming Indiana Jones theme)

--Penn Station

Overheard by: Mickey

20-something gaysian: Yeah, he watches Hannah Montana so I don't get why he makes fun of me for watching iCarly!

--Washington Square Park

Teen: I watched I Love Lucy last night. She's funny; she's like the Jim Carrey of the 1920s or something.

--UA School of Music and Art

20-something preppy kid to mother: You know, they really should have a reality show about Midtown.

--54th St b/w 1st & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: Pedro

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021121.html

Little kid: I'm the highest reader in my class!
Dad's friend: What, are all the kids in your class Chinese?

--The Great Lawn

Overheard by: Mariah

It rained all day yesterday. And I STILL had to work. By the end of the day I'm sure my jeans weighed 20 pounds from all the water.
I have a flat tire on my bike and no time to change it. I'll do it this weekend.
Wow! My life is dull.
I'll write some more letters this weekend. (Hi Duckie!)

It's getting into the 30's at night here. That's cold for southern Cali!

I made the first homemade mince pies of the season today. Made with homemade mincemeat and homemade pastry. I feel so Christmassy and wholesome! Recipes over at AnnaintheKitchen.

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021120.html

Woman, staring at the train subway map: Excuse me, how do you get to the 1 train?
Large black guy: Number one, you get an education.
Woman: No no, how do you get to the 1 train?
Large black guy: Number one, you get an education. Number two, you look at the map. Number three, don't talk to strangers.

--Uptown NQRW

Overheard by: Knows which strangers not to talk to

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021119.html

Guy in moose costume, sarcastically, on Halloween: Like people are really gonna remember a random-ass character from Sesame Street...
Guy in Yip Yip costume: So you'd rather be a fucking moose?

--Rivington & Clinton

Overheard by: TR

http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/010394.html

Cube dweller to another: If you want the full effects of the Smarties, you need to freebase them.

Pioneer Square
Seattle, Washington

http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/010393.html

Receptionist: God, I love today.
Supervisor: You know, I hate it when you get laid.
Receptionist, blushing: Yeah, I know...
General manager: You're just saying that because your wife won't put out.
Supervisor: That's not really funny.
General manager: Yeah, it is... If we were lucky, Tammy here would hire out, then everyone could get laid.

Roswell, New Mexico

Overheard by: Yikes!

http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/010392.html

Seemingly normal customer: It's revealing when the lolly-boxes clatter, isn't it? Revealing!
Cashier: Er, yes. (awkward laughter)

Vegetable Shop
Western Australia
Australia

Overheard by: Cara

http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/010391.html

Copy editor: I just wanna go home and sleep. And if I'm lucky, I'll never wake up again.
Project manager #1: That's my dream. To die in my sleep.
Project manager #2: Well, sure. But tonight?
Copy editor: Why, is there something on tv tonight you'd miss?

Ad Agency
Seattle, Washington

http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/010390.html

Cube mate to another, about program: How are you hung?

Baton Rouge, Louisiana

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021118.html

Preppy guy: What's that stuff around the rim of your martini glass?
Trendy girl: Uh...I dunno, it looks like cum.
Preppy guy: Uh... can I get a lick?

--Restaurant, St. Mark's Place

Overheard by: Eliza

http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/010389.html

New PR consultant: Wait. When you're in the witness protection program... can you tell strangers that?

Manhattan, New York

http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/010388.html

Coworker on phone: He had two career ideas: one was to start an internet porn site, and the other was to become a priest.

Syracuse, New York

http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/010387.html

Blonde female manager, about dried hydrangeas: I wish I had nice ones like that. I'm still so mad that my husband trimmed my bush!

Ann Arbor, Michigan

http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/010386.html

Dock worker: You know, it would be really cool if we found an eyeball floating in a one of these bottles!
Dock supervisor: What?! Do you know how much paperwork I would have if that happened?

Syosset, New York

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021117.html

Young son: Mom, you know I puke when you make me sit in the back of the bus.
Irritated Jewish mother: Just sit down.
Young son: Then... don't come crying to me when I throw up on you!

--M5 Bus